God is still good

I woke up in the night before, my soul stirring...not sure why. I just knew I needed to pray. So, I prayed.
I received a phone call, one that lasted about an hour, from a guardian ad litem who lit into me over me advocating for these kids. See, he was unaware these children had been placed in my home. He was unaware these children had received medical care since being with me. And, to put it lightly, he was none so happy with me, the one who didn't know these kids even had a GAL (I'm new to this, but every child in the system has one). He insisted I should have known; I should have notified him; I should have not done things "backwards".

I knew his frustration. I'm sitting in it...the miscommunication of the system. So, I apologized for the situation...still unsure of why I'm being attacked for caring for these kids...for advocating for them.

And, as I get off the phone...after an  hour of attacks and accusations...I am weary...on my last leg. I make phone calls...trying to find out if I did something wrong...why this GAL is upset with me. I am notified there was a big communication gap on DSS's end, and while they assure me I've done nothing to justify his response, and I've done everything right, I am still tearful. I try to hide the tears from my oldest, who senses much more than she should.  And so the conversation begins...

"Tinkle, you know how you've seen mommy have to make a lot of phone calls today, and how you've seen mommy get upset and cry?"

"Yes."

"Here's what you need to remember about today. Today, even when difficult things happen, our God is still good. Did you hear me? Our GOD is still good."

And she replies, "mama, why were you on the phone so much?"

I quickly weigh how to explain what's taken place to a 9 year old...give her minor details or tell her the real issue. So, I tell her the real issue...

"Tinkle, we are doing God's will...God's plan for our lives. The devil doesn't like it, and he's doing a lot to make me weary and want to give up. Always remember that when you follow God, and He's being glorified, it won't be easy. But we will continue to follow God's plan; we will continue to do good in His name, because it is about bringing glory to Him and nothing more. Do you know how you can help mommy more than anything else?"

She nods her head no.

"You can pray. Pray that God be glorified in it ALL. Pray that God receives the glory even in the yucky stuff. Will you do that?"

And she smiles and says, "yes".

And, while I had some difficult conversations yesterday, I received these 2 emails from people that I know felt led by God to send them to me as a word of encouragement...



Good Morning, Erin,

I want to share this with you.

Yesterday, I was having a very down day. I was letting the things of my life get me down. After Praise Team Practice, I went to my class and put my things down. I heard a child's voice say, Hey, Miss T". It was Tinkle. "This is for you" she said, and was handing something over the door. I took it from her. It just about took my breath away! It was a worry wart with the scripture about not worrying about today. I asked her,"Where did this come from??" They had made it in Sunday School Class. It was all I could do not to burst into tears! It was as good as God himself telling me that I don't have to worry. Everything will be ok. God used your daughter to speak to me yesterday. Please tell her that she was such a blessing to me, and her actions really lifted my spirits!!
THANKS, TINKLE!!!!!
And this...

Erin, I wanted to tell you about the impact that I see you and Scott having on Minkle. Yesterday, in children's church, Minkle was not the same child that I had one month ago. He was so much more attentive and willing to listen and participate in the discussion and activities. He was polite and calm; a pleasure! But, the thing that most affected me was when we prayed. I told the children that we were going to talk to God and he told me that he wanted to talk to God. So, I told him that would be wonderful. He folded his little hands and said, "Thank you, God. Amen." WOW! What a blessing to me and a testimony of what God is doing through you in this child's life.

Hugs,

To God be the glory...

“[A David Psalm] God, the one and only— I'll wait as long as he says. Everything I need comes from him, so why not? He's solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I'm set for life.” Psalm 62:1 MSG