see, the truth is...

I told you how I question my obedience...had I known. And can I just be even more honest? It irritates me...the not knowing. The reality that I may have not chosen to follow Him.

Could my desire for my comfort keep me complacent?

Could my desire for my comfort keep me from His plan?

Could my desire for comfort be greater than my love and trust in Him?

God, let it never be. As I struggle with the what ifs and my obedience, it is here I am satisfied in His knowing me more than I know myself. It is here I am thankful He has only showed me enough light to see today. It is here that I rest in His care as I follow His plan.

See, this foster parenting has brought much more to me than I could bring to these children. My perspective, my faith, my dependence on Him...it's changed.

The way I pray over these little ones as I hold them. It's grown.

The way I don't take a second for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised. 

The way I get to watch Him work all things for His good.

The way I get see their progress.

The way I see Him growing us closer to each other and to Him.

The way He covers.

The way He's grown our passion for this purpose, these people.

The way He has stretched me out of self and into purpose.

The way I've seen He cares about the condition of the heart more than the circumstances of the day.

The way I search His Word, craving it more and more.

Would I have missed out on all of it?

And I read, "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."

"And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise."

And, "All these people were still living by faith when they died."

Oh, God, let that be me. Let that be our family. Let us feed that into our children. Let us continue in faith because we have been called. Let You be seen in us. Let it not be about me or what I can accomplish, because it's only through You. Let others see You. Mighty. Lifted High. Savior. Sustainer. Rescuer. Miracle Maker. Holy. You.