'cause there's joy in it all, in Him

I try to balance my posts between happy and funny and hard and trying, hoping it shows the picture of truth in my life.

The truth is we do have our silly, laugh deep-down-to-our-toes moments...like the moment I walked away from my cold coffee this morning to the dryer, only to return to 3 littles with their new declaration, "we love coffee, mama!". We do tickle and joke and kiss cheeks and bellies and toes. We throw "I love you the most" in the air like a frisbee and trust it goes deeper than a catch phrase, landing right down to their souls. We hold each other up and trust Jesus holds us even tighter when we feel we're going to come loose.

And while I'd love to focus only on the fun of it all, the truth is we are in the hard, up-to-our-neck days of parenting kiddos who need healing, been hurt, and show it in a variety of challenging ways. Then there are the moments, like the one this morning, where I realize I now have the added benefit of caffeine to the challenge. These lighthearted moments feel like life...coming up for air when you're on your last second of being able to stay under water.

But make no mistake...absolutely no mistake...that my God is filling us up even when we feel down. He supplies enough for today and creates in us the ability to stand up to go again tomorrow. While He hasn't thrown us easy, can't-wait-to-get-up-and-do-it-again days, He's our God who sustains.

And, while it's true that "it is hard, hard, intentional, laborious work. Children who have been abused, abandoned, neglected, given away, given up, and left alone are shaken so deeply, so intrinsically, they absolutely require parents who are willing to wholly invest in their healing; through the screaming, the fits, the anger, the shame, the entitlement, the bed-wetting, the spitting, the rejection, the bone-chilling fear", it is a blessing...a privilege that we don't take for granted.

We're learning how to love deep when we are in the thick of needing it ourselves. We are learning how Jesus can be enough when we feel we lack. We are learning how to parent and live in it all, even when it's difficult. We are learning how grace can fill gaps as wide as the ocean and how our Jesus is a personal God. He's the picture of this life we're called to live. He fetches His children, draws them into Him, loves them enough to cover it all...the wounds, the anger, the disappointment, the sin...and it's never been through entitlement, but only through grace. We're learning we have the privilege of seeing a picture of Jesus each and every day.

And there's deep joy in that...in it all...in Him.

~the new Bible study I started last night
~a friend who calls to talk about hard things because we do life together
~the belief that I can memorize an entire book of the Bible...yikes.
~date night at Arizona's
~the Sedona salad...it's worthy of thankfulness
~progress in our 2 foster children
~the belief that I can run a half-marathon in April
~a sister who encourages and challenges me
~a mom who is more like a friend now that we are both adults
~a post that speaks truth
~anticipation of what God holds for today
~the ability to choose joy because of Jesus
~a Jesus who protected the sister-in-law who made it through a scary delivery